Inside Brookhaven....

So, I watched this documentary the other day.. it was the scariest thing I have ever seen. It was on TLC (which happens to be one of my favorite channels) and it was called, "Inside Brookhaven." It was a documentary of 3 individuals at an obesity clinic in New York.

I know that in the years after high school I have put on more than my freshmen 15, and each time I want to "get healthy," I go on a health food kick, or run a few miles, but then sooner than later, I am back to my old routine... one of random exercise... and eating whatever I want. I peered in to the lives of these 3 individuals.. I was sad, scared, and hopeful that my life might have a different outcome, if I was serious about changing now.

The sad thing.. is these people never had the desire to be monstrously obese, and it wasn't like they wanted to wake up and way over 700 pounds, but a series of lifestyle choices led them to their current condition. I cried nearly the entire time through the hour long segment. I thought to myself, I don't want to wake up one morning, realize I am prisoner to my bed, and prisoner to my lack of self-control.

These are the things I desire for my life. I desire to be young and vigorous. I desire to be a desirable bride. I desire to be a healthy mommy with lots of energy. I desire to see my grand-children grow up. I desire to feel good, with little limitations. I desire to live the days the Lord has for me knowing I am at my full capability of performing all He has in store for me.

I know the people that care about me have urged me to take steps to maintain a healthy life-style. But, I think in the last few months, as the thought of a real possibility of growing old with someone has given itself, I really do want the opportunity to grow old with that person. I just want life.

I talked about my plan with a man, that I am pretty sure I love already. He has been the most supportive person in every aspect in my life.. its no surprise to me now that he would join in this journey with me as well. The amazing part about it, is he has already made me feel like the most beautiful woman alive. He has already affirmed to me his love, a pure one. He has already established who I am to him. He is wonderful.

So, I am starting the "Body for Life" challenge. Your prayers and encouragement are much needed.. this is going to be a dynamic change, but one that will not come with little effort or challenge. I'm scared... and excited. Seeking the Lord for his encouragement and strength because I know its something I cannot do on my own.

"Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become." 2 Corinthians 12:6-8 (the Message)